Op-Ed From a Black Kitty

I think we need to have a talk. I have a few major grievances.

There’s a lot—I mean a LOT—of fake news out there about black cats. We get a seriously bum rap. Especially around Halloween. That’s the day for treats and dressing up, not for hating on all us black kitties. Who doesn’t like treats? I get plenty. And who doesn’t like to dress up on occasion? I do it myself when the mood strikes.

Let’s start with my biggest pet peeve. Black cats mean bad luck.

Absolutely bogus. For starters, everyone knows you make your own luck. You don’t need a black cat to do that for you. So don’t put your pessimistic attitude on me. Having a little trouble winning at Poker? Not my fault! Be a better card player.  

Here’s another doozy. Some people claim we black kitties are familiars for witches, and that we can change into a human shape and spy on people for witches or demons. Complete rubbish. Humans are boring. Why would I ever want to shapeshift into one? The only time I change my shape is when I need to sit in a pot. That’s. It.

Another common misconception: We hate water. Apparently it burns us, or turns us into a red, gooey blob. Well, I’ve got news. We can have as many baths as we want and not melt like the Wicked Witch of the West. Next question.

Afraid of sunlight, you say? Nope. I’m rather fond of going out in the sunlight. Unlike vampires, a little morning sun never hurt a single black kitty.

Okay, admittedly, sometimes black kitties like to howl at the moon like werewolves. But that doesn’t make us wicked. Far from it. We’re just extremely in touch with our moon phases. Nothing wrong with that.

Oh, and just because we have black fur doesn’t mean we aren’t completely photogenic. I mean, just take a look at this side profile. Can you say KITTY GORGEOUS?

The negative attitude about black cats exhausts me.

National Black Cat Appreciation Day is August 17, 2021. Adopt yourself a black kitty, snuggle it, give it plenty treats, and above all, appreciate it. We might just bring you a little good luck.

Oh, and adopting a blind kitty won’t hurt anything either.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Ophelia McLelland is the author of numerous best-selling books on superstition and lore, most of which are out of print (but still hugely popular in places you’ve never been). A spiritualist and medium to the cat realm, she is a professional piano player and an advocate for the blind cat community. A resident of Oklahoma, Ophelia lives with her cat sister, Millie, her dog sister, Sophie, and three human pets, one of which writes spooky, adventurous middle-grade novels that aren’t very popular. Follow her on Instagram: @opheliakittycat